Yesterday I worked 3-9. It was a slow day. Charisse came by to pick up her paycheck, I asked if I can come over at work. Everybody was still up, Avi was hyper! Charisse served curry chicken, curry fish, and tikka masala chicken with roti and this other thing ( i forgot the name ) I was so full because after I ate a slice of cherry cheesecake. OMG. It was so delicious! Avi was playing baseball, he likes getting strikes lol. He was also playing hide & seek too.
I worked in the morning today. It was busy. I was super sleepy, but on break I got my cappucinno blast from DD. MMMM. It was actually recommended by a customer yesterday haha. Its from Baskin Robins that’s why. A little more expensive but worth it! *THUMBS UP* Later on I went to Jessica’s 9th birthday party. A bit crazy, food was good, everybody drinkin, kids playin in the mini pool & musical chairs.
I don’t know why, but I’m expecting too much. It gets me real frustrated.
This is life. People move on… passions fade.
Yesterday I had a good day. I went to see Raveena =] She picked me up on Jamaica Ave. Oh boy, was that complicated. I can’t hear this bitch on the phone, she put me on speaker, she’s talking to me while she’s driving, I don’t understand what she’s saying lolololol. I kept walking up and down the block, I wasn’t sure where she was. Eventually she found me.
We went into her sister’s room, laying down, discussing about our crazy dreams. Hers was…..UNNATURAL. Do you want to hear mine? I always have dreams where I am being chased by a bad people, with guns, knives, sticks, bombs. We would fly on brooms, ride in trains, or just run on the ground. It would be in 1st person & 3rd person. It seems like a movie, a fantasy.
In this one, it was set during the Holocaust. The Nazis were bombing New York City. It was me, my brother & my parents. I kept repeating to my dad, “Jon said this is the past but its also the future & the present! Its just like the book!” I didn’t know what I was talking about. My mom was screaming, she yelled,”Where do we go?!” I told her just hide & we separated, hiding behind cars. We got together again, my view was 3rd person. There were 3 streets being bombed. I ran straight to the middle where it started to bomb on the other end, my dad pulled me away since I was running the wrong way. We were running really fast. Then we we turned a corner & it was all policemen in black uniforms. I was holding on to my brother because he wasn’t feeling well, he panicked, & start to run forward. I told him quietly to act normal & my dad was covering his eyes because it kept rolling back. Then we hid between 2 white vans. I woke up in the dream, it was just me and my dad. I saw the reflection of a man setting up a gun in front of me. He was about to pull the trigger, I told my dad to wake up. All of a sudden, they were both speaking in GERMAN! I don’t know what the hell what they were saying but I COULD NOT UNDERSTAND. The guy ended up not killing us, I told my dad WHAT THE FUCCCCCCCK? I had this dream because of Captain America movie lol. It was set in the past but everything was so modern, thats why I kept saying that phrase…
Raveena & I waited for her mom to come home so we could get her UNLIMITED metrocard to go to the movies. We missed the bus cuz her dad kept saying nonsense to her. We returned an indian movie she borrowed a week ago & the bus came! At the cashier, I almost forgot what movie to watch. It was $8 for 3pm-6m so I paid for our date. Transformers 3 is a good movie, humorous too. We went back home to eat roti with kathakhar*sp. She was into DeGrassi -___- I was annoyed because when Rav dropped me off to the bus stop, it already had past & Jon didn’t want to pick me up to conserve gas. In the end, he made me laugh.
I work today boo.
My dream last night was weird too. My mom went to Raveena’s house to inspect it & she was being rude by telling her to clean. Even to her mom! Then the rest well…I cannot say.
I hate that feeling when you randomly feel depressed. There is no warning, no apparent reason. It just happens. You feel empty, and you feel hopeless. And you just feel tired. As if you never want to move again. Then when someone asks you what’s wrong, you can’t say because there is nothing that comes to mind. Then you start thinking of what it could be, and you realize just how much is wrong. You know that feeling? Yeah, it sucks.
How did I forget to say the funniest part.
So I was waiting for the J train at Myrtle-Broadway. I wasn’t sure which side the train opens the doors cuz it was in the middle. A guy asked me if I was waiting long for the train, I replied no. He then asked me for my age, he thought I was 16 or else he would’ve gotten in trouble. LIKE WTF DOES THAT MEAN EW. The J train comes, I abruptly interrupted what he was saying & asked which side does it open. He asked where am I headed to, I said I was meeting a friend. He told me its on the other side, I just left immediately without saying goodbye lol. Why why why. I can’t even wear a cute outfit without someone saying something. Earlier an old guy in the car said something in his language and says, “HELLO HELLO” & repeated what he said. Ugh. He could’ve been my father gosh.
I always get hit on whenever I’m about to meet up with David.
Today was my day off. I had a really weird dream. I’ve been watching Fresh Prince Bel-Air lately so in my dream the cast was there. Will Smith and Uncle Phil haha. Gosh, it was crazy I wish I remembered. It seemed really long…I was supposed to wake up at 9 but it was already 10:30am!
I went to BMCC and met up with David. Of course, BMCC is always complicated. I wanted to re-schedule my COMPASS exam since I missed it. We went to testing center first, on my transcript it said I failed. Then we went to math dept. to get my professor’s email address. Only he can give permission for me to take it.
“”Little Benji” (insider)
Anyway, we went by the water. We sat on the cool, damp grass under the shade a tree. There were white girls in their bikini’s tanning while reading books. They had no stretch marks, I’m so jealous!! Oh well, they tend to look like shit when they get older anyway. I’m so mean.
I hope it works out for David and his “girlfriend”. He’s always into hook-ups & when he does get into a relationship, it doesn’t last long =/ So he doesn’t bother but he really likes this girl. They were together but broke up. They still see each other everyday & he sleeps over her house often. Doesn’t that remind me of someone *AHEM* <.< She works at a bank. I told David to hook me up, I am seriously tired of SHITTOWN.
I could’ve stayed longer but I *HAD* to get home. Jon’s grandfather got a new puppy! It’s so adorable! (His old dog passed away) This is one is named Fluffy. She is white, soft, calm, and innocent. I made her fall asleep by stroking her head =]
Jon and I went out driving. I didn’t know where we were going. We ended up in Flushing at H Mart, a freakin Korean supermarket. I hate koreans blah. I didn’t recognize the brands or food, I’m used to a CHINESE supermarket. We bought mochi ice cream assorted flavor & red bean buns.
It was raining on the way home. I get scared when we’re driving in the rain. It took 20 min to find a damn parking spot around here. Jon made perogies, sweet potato fries, and steamed 3 red bean buns. We’re watching The Office now. Oh yeah, and the fan is finally installed! Hurrah!
OOOOOOO I haven’t updated in awhile eh? Hmm let’s see what did I do last week..I’ve been working more 5 days a week, last week was 6 days in a row, I only got thurs and fri off. There’s been.. CHANGES as Angela said haha..Thursday I hung out with Raveena, Ashley, Angela along with her family and friends. Rav & I ordered cheese sticks at Papa John’s. Her mom cooked pasta again, she always cooks pasta when I’m there =] I love her cooking! We also went to Keyfood to buy Pina Colada mixes instead of making it ourselves with raw ingredients. Rav & I did a pretty good job making them! Angela and Ashley baked brownies and cupcakes, they were delicious. We went into Angela’s mini pool, it cooled all of us off. We had a good time. Rav drove me to Jamaica and Jon picked me up from there.
The next day Friday night, Jon and I went into the new Keyfood in Sunnyside. OMG. They did have the Pina Colada mix! I bought 2! We went into Rite Aid to buy junk food, well candy. We watched Captain America in Astoria with our co-workers. Damn, that theater was packed thankfully we bought our tickets online. The movie was for 10:50pm. It really was a good movie, I didn’t expect that. It was much better than Thor. The only thing that killed the mood was the black faggots sitting 2 rows behind us. Holy shit, that was fucking annoying Jon kept telling them to shut up but of course, they retaliate & won’t stop. They just kept talking and made dumb remarks, also talking to another group that was in the front while we’re in the back. Ugh. No manners. I wish the staff came in & escorted them out. Next time I’ll personally go to them to kick them out. One guy was shirtless and holding his pants up while is ass is sticking out with his boxers. Goddamn, I don’t even know how he got into the theater. Enough venting, I had a good time.
So now, I’ve been just working. My feet hurts even though I wear my jellies. They don’t help anymore, they’ve gotten flat. Boo. The company just wants the consumers to buy more >=[ I’ve been soaking my feet in hot water with epsom salt after I get home from work. They help because before I couldn’t sleep with my heel throbbing. My back has been hurting too…gah. I have to work later today -__- But they say, “MAKE THAT CHEDDAAHHHHH!!!”
I didn’t intentionally do it but it just kinda happened. I lost communication with certain friends, and I became more independent. I’m just trying to look out for myself now. Trying to not get attached to certain people because it might hurt me in the future. Sure life’s about taking risks but theres also a point in life where you get tired of getting hurt. Tired of trying. Just tired of everything. I’m just trying to live life happily.
I feel like a burden. You’re doing all this for me. Don’t question about yourself, it scares me. Now, I just want their blessing.
People say we look alike but I don’t see it..(different fathers).
THEY HAVE GREEN TEA COOLATTA! Why don’t they have this in NY?! It’d be so much cheaper than starbucks green tea frappuccino. It tasted so good! I miss this!
My mom ordered coffee. They’re very classic. I wanted to steal the utensils but mom didn’t let me -___-